My Autistic Fight Song- Rosie Weldon

Greetings Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

As many of you may know, I love to read, and so I was delighted to be offered the opportunity to read an advanced copy of ‘My Autistic Fight Song‘ by Rosie Weldon.

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This enticing memoir charts Rosie’s journey through higher education, her autism diagnosis and her struggles in the workplace as she strived to achieve her dream of becoming an accountant.

You can find a trailer for the book here on Rosie’s Youtube Channel:

 

So what did I make of the book?

Reading this book was a very interesting experience for me as someone who has yet to engage with another female autist in the flesh. I’ve read many abridged accounts and watched many interviews with other female autists, but this was the first time I really was given a raw insight into the mind of someone other than myself.

In some ways I could have been reading my own story. My experience of autism has been significantly milder, but yet many of our experiences align. Both diagnosed in our twenties, both encountered challenges with social anxiety, both found comfort in music, Harry Potter and the confines of a secluded bathroom stall. It was fascinating to see into Rosie’s thought process, her thinking so often mimicking my own- growing up, it would have been nice to have come across this book to let me know that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t so different after all.

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Perhaps most interesting was Rosie’s experiences of the workplace. As I have discussed previously, only a small percentage of autists find full time employment. Rosie’s perseverance in the face of adversity in the workplace was inspiring. She was fiercely determined not to be another statistic, and this determination made her dream of being an accountant a reality.

It was also most heartening to see the support that Rosie received from her employers along the way- they did not see her autism as a challenge and instead found ways to work within her comfort zone, such as moving noisy machines to a different room. Having struggled in the workplace myself in a role where I was not adequately supported, I’m glad to see that not all employers see autism as a burden.

For anyone looking for an insight into the mind of a female autist, “My Autistic Fight Song” is the perfect bedtime read ๐Ÿ™‚

Rosie also has her own blog where she talks about autism which you can check out here: https://www.rosieweldon.com/

If you’d like to read ‘My Autistic Fight Song‘, the book will be available to buy from April 1st (conveniently timed for Autism Awareness Month) ๐Ÿ™‚

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Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

Enjoy the weekend!

Aoife

Autism and Coping with Disappointment

Greetings Earthlings! ๐Ÿ™‚

As I was unable to travel on a much anticipated break to the north of Italy last week due to the coronavirus outbreak (just my luck!), the subject of disappointment has been weighing heavily on my mind.

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Disappointments, whilst an unfortunate fact of life, are oftentimes more difficult for autists to cope with. As we feel emotions on a much greater scale than neurotypicals, naturally, we oftentimes find disappointments quite tough. Neurological impairments in emotional processing can make it difficult for an autist to wrap their head around the sinking feeling of disappointment which can trigger meltdowns and shutdowns depending on the level of disappointment.

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I’ve not always had the greatest experiences with disappointment in my own life. Growing up, something as simple as a friend cancelling plans, or missing an episode of CSI could bring me to tears; if it were something greater like a bad test result or not being chosen for a team, I could isolate myself for hours melting down as if it were the worst thing in the world.

Thankfully as I’ve grown older, it’s been a lot easier to navigate disappointments- I’ve been surprisingly calm about missing my holidays last week for example.

 

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Here are some of my top tips for coping with disappointment:

Write it out– when your mind is overwhelmed by your disappointment, I’ve found that verbalizing your feelings in writing can really help to relieve the pressure in your head.

Contextualize the situation– try to see the bigger picture through your disappointment. Will this matter in a few days, weeks or months? Things may feel like the end of the world after a disappointment, but as my mother always says- “it’s not cancer!”

Focus on the good-I know it seems obvious, but focusing on the positive side of things and the things that you have going for you can really help to pull you out of a funk and divert a potential meltdown.

Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! ๐Ÿ™‚

Enjoy the weekend!

Aoife

Happy 3rd Anniversary!

Greetings Earthlings!

Happy New Year!! ๐Ÿ˜€ Hope that you and yours enjoyed the holiday season as much as I did ๐Ÿ™‚

Here we are again- another year’s blogging under my belt! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

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No one is as shocked as I am that I have now been writing this blog for THREE whole years, and even more so that you’re all still enjoying my ramblings! ๐Ÿ˜‚ I am so appreciative for your continued readership and support. Reading your messages and comments about how my words have helped you has meant so much to me these past 3 years ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve got some brand new ideas cooking away so roll on 2020! ๐Ÿ˜€

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Aoife

Seasons Greetings!

Greetings Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

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As 2019 draws to a close (and so two does my third year of this blog! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ), I’d just like to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and every blessing for 2020 ๐Ÿฅณ

Thank you all so much for your continued readership, support and kind messages this year, and I look forward to writing for you all again in the new year ๐Ÿ™‚

Enjoy the holiday season dear Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

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Aoife

Autism and Trust

Greetings Earthlings! ๐Ÿ™‚

This week I’d like to briefly talk about the issue of trust and autism.

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Trust is something that we all struggle with from time to time. In an increasingly disingenuous world, it can be tough to tell friend from foe. This is even more problematic for the autistic community.

Studies have shown that autists struggle to read facial cues for signs of trustworthiness in others. As an autist is so often transparent in their words and actions with their black and white thinking, it’s a struggle to comprehend that others may not be. For example, if an adult tells an autistic child a lie, they will usually believe them without question- after all, why would a grown up lie to you? Isn’t lying supposed to be bad? This is particularly worrying for an autist coming up against potential bullies and predators.

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I found this to be a problem during my school days. On the surface, my peers seemed nice to me. I thought many were friends, but I was unable to tell from their tones that they were mocking me and my eccentricities. It was only after the damage was done that I saw through the facade, which made it hard to trust my peers for a long time. When you see everything in black and white, it can be hard to discern that a smiling face may be a sarcastic sneer.

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But is there a biological reason for our trust issues?

Studies have shown that changes in the structure of the autistic brain can cause issues with trust. Changes in the ventral medial prefrontal cortex (the area that assesses social rewards) in people that tended to be more trusting of others, and changes in the amygdala (an area associated with memory and emotional responses) in both those who were more and less trusting of others appear to be linked to trust issues.

Moreover, as I’ve discussed in previous posts, oxytocin is a hormone that is thought to be associated with social behaviour, emotional attachment and trust. Multiple studies suggest that oxytocin levels are dysregulated in autists, which could explain our struggles when it comes to trusting others.

Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

Have a lovely weekend!

Aoife

Greta Thunberg and Autism

Greetings Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

So this week I’d like to discuss an inspirational young autist that I’ve been meaning to write about for some time- climate activist Greta Thunberg.

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For those of you who’ve been living under a rock (and I mean, seriously living under a rock, this girl has been all over the news ๐Ÿ˜› ), Greta is a Swedish teenager who began striking from school on Fridays outside the houses of parliament in Stockholm for action against climate change in 2018 at just 15 years of age. Greta rationalized that the impending climate crisis means no future for her generation, so why should she go to school to prepare for a future that would not exist?

Since she began striking, Greta’s actions have spawned an international movement known as ‘Fridays For Future‘ where students the world over are striking from school for climate change action. She was even nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for 2019.

What a girl!

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In recent months however, attention has focused on the fact that Greta has Asperger’s syndrome (I’m in good company!). In her viral Ted Talk, Greta speaks of how learning about the climate crisis at 8 years old led to her diagnosis. Unable to process the inaction of the world, Greta became withdrawn, depressed and stopped eating, which led her to be diagnosed with OCD, selective mutism and Asperger’s Syndrome. As Greta so eloquently explained in her talk, thisย means that she only speaks when necessary. Now, in the midst of the climate crisis, is one of those moments.

You can see her viral TEDx Talk here:

 

 

Like me, Greta does not see Asperger’s as a disability, but as a gift, calling it her “superpower”. She recently discussed this on the Ellen DeGeneres show where she talked about how autists are important in a crisis such as global warming as we are different, and we need to think differently to find solutions. Her tenacity, her passion and her black and white, no nonsense speeches (all autistic traits), truly are superpowers in her fight to save the planet.

 

Greta Fun Fact-ย her mother represented Sweden in the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest ๐Ÿ˜€

However, the media have recently begun to turn on Greta because she is neurodivergent. A guest on Fox News recently described her as “mentally ill” sparking much discussion about the state of her mental health. As is often the case, once people hear the ‘a’ word, they automatically assign you a box…

Just a reminder– autism is NOT a mental illness; it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder. We may be greater disposed to having issues with our mental health due to higher stress levels, but an autism diagnosis is not synonymous with mental illness.

Whilst I would echo some journalists concerns about the strain of her current international exposure (fellow aspie Susan Boyle had to check into rehab for exhaustion after her viral appearance in Britain’s’ Got Talent), ultimately what Greta needs is action. Saving the planet is her specialist interest, and as I’ve discussed previously, we are consumed by our passions. She will stop at nothing or for no one to save the world.

Without a doubt, Greta is an extraordinary girl, and really shows that you should not allow yourself to be limited by your diagnosis. Indeed, there are people out there vehemently trying to write her off, but the rest of the world is listening.

Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

Have a lovely weekend!

Aoife

Autism and Time Management

Greetings Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

You may or may not have noticed that I haven’t been posting as frequently lately to the blog as I have been extremely busy offline. As such, this week I’ve been inspired to discuss the topic of time management ๐Ÿ™‚

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Time management is something that many people struggle with, however, as with several every day tasks, this can be even more of a challenge for an autist. Many autists have difficulty with information processing, understanding the concept of time and predicting the outcome of actions, which can make it tricky to organize and prioritize tasks.

For me personally, time management is something that I’m really good at (most of the time), but it can often be a source of great stress. Trying to wrap my head around the tasks to be completed, once plans are in place spending ages mentally going over and over the particulars, beating yourself up for not being able to achieve all that you’ve set out to do within a certain time frame- I can be pretty hard on myself for this. I’m capable of juggling so many balls at once I often get frustrated that I’m not juggling as many balls as I could be during my downtime (like spending the weekend napping instead of writing). This has perhaps been one of the hardest time management attitudes to break since joining the workforce ๐Ÿ˜›

I’m no expert when it comes to time management, but here are some tips that I’ve found helpful:

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Colour coding– colour coding different tasks for importance can be a great way to help you assess and prioritize tasks- with the added plus that this may also help you to remember your “to-do’s” through stimulation of the creative right hemisphere of the brain.

Write things down/get a diary– I don’t do this as often as I should; but it is a great way to organise both your tasks and your thoughts. Life became a whole lot easier when I took the extra few minutes to make a shopping list rather than frantically running round the shop back in college.

Focus on small, easily achievableย tasks fist- as with studying, this can be a great way to keep from getting overwhelmed by the volume of tasks that you need/or want to complete and will help you learn to prioritize better. For example, today I need to pick up some groceries and walk the dog; that painting I want to finish off can wait until the weekend.

Set reminders/alarms– if paper’s not a good option for you, setting alarms or calendar reminders on your phone can be a great way to keep on top of things. I’d never make a meeting on time if it wasn’t for my Outlook calendar reminders!

Make time for you– this can often be the toughest part of time management for an autist in my experience. You can get so focused on all that needs to be done, you easily forget that just because something needs to be done, doesn’t mean it has to be done right away. Patience isn’t always an autistic virtue, in spite of the irony of the world needing to be patient with autists!๐Ÿ˜‚ย Make sure that in the midst of a heavy schedule, there are always “me moments” scattered throughout.

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Hope you enjoyed my post dear Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

Until next time!

Aoife

Autism on Screen- Glee

Greetings Earthlings! ๐Ÿ™‚

This week I’d like to talk about autism in the popular multi-award winning, musical comedy-drama show ‘Glee‘.

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In case you’ve been living under a rock or have forgotten all about ‘Glee‘, ‘Glee‘ focused on a high schoolย show-choirย comprised of a group of misfits as they strive for fame and acceptance.

As I’ve been binge watching it on Netflix in recent weeks, I’ve discovered something that I missed when I initially watched the show, there was a character with Asperger’s syndrome in the choir room all along- Sugar Motta.

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Sugar Motta was introduced during the third series of the show as a girl with “self-diagnosed Asperger’s syndrome” which she claimed entitled her to say whatever she wanted and gave her carte blanche to be brutally honest with everyone.

Here’s a quick video with some of her moments from the show’s run:

So how does the character’s portrayal of Asperger’s fare?

Looking through the archives, the show received a great deal of backlash at the time for their use of Asperger’s as a punch line. Most people have argued that Sugar is not on the spectrum and is just a spoiled brat who uses Asperger’s as a means to get her own way, but in terms of traits the show wasn’t that far off the mark for a girl on the spectrum, albeit a brief glimpse. The brutal honesty, the inability to accept that she cannot sing (so much so that her rich father set up a rival glee club where she could be the star) or any criticism for that matter, and her high level of social functioning can be true for some female autists.

After a couple of episodes the character’s diagnosis is no longer mentioned, nor are her traits showcased. It’s no wonder really that I never spotted her Asperger’s when I watched the show originally as the character was relegated to the background of the show by the time I received my diagnosis in 2014.

All in all, I’d have to agree with the critics that the character doesn’t really have Asperger’s, or at the very least is a pretty poor depiction of the autistic experience.

Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

Until next time!

Aoife

“You Don’t Look Autistic!”

Greetings Earthlings! ๐Ÿ™‚

After reading a write in to an advice column in the newspaper this morning, the parent of a recently diagnosed child rationalized that the diagnosis didn’t make sense as their child was doing well in school, popular and “good socially.”

I found this particularly annoying as this type of attitude is something that we high functioning autists encounter all the time.

“You don’t look autistic?!”

“You’re normal!”

“You can’t be autistic!”

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These are some of the most common phrases I hear when I talk to people about my diagnosis, as do many high functioning autists. Whilst this is a great compliment to my upbringing and acting skills, this kind of reaction can be quite damaging for autists.

First things first- no one looks autistic ๐Ÿ˜›

It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder, how are we supposed to look? Unless you have eyes like an MRI or some type of X-ray vision, you won’t physically see our neurological differences! Roughly 1 in 68 people are autistic- that’s 1 person per double decker bus, 1 person per carriage on the average train, and 3 people on the average international flight. Would you say that you’ve seen someone that “looked” autistic every time you’ve used these transport services? ๐Ÿคจ

We’re everywhere, looking exactly the same as you do.

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^^^ Sorry couldn’t resist giving my favourite musical a shout out- 10 points if you get the song reference ๐Ÿ˜Ž

With autism, it’s very much a case of “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”.

With the increased generalization of the spectrum, from the outside, our books look alike, each with the same rainbow-coloured ‘autism’ cover on display. The stories inside however are very different. There may be similar themes, experiences and symptoms between books, but ultimately each is unique.

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Contrary to popular belief, just like the child in the advice column, many high functioning autists have an active social life. In college I was at every party going and the last one on the dance floor- had you seen me, would you have said I was autistic? Appearances can be deceptive, you donโ€™t know how hard some of us have to work on our social skills behind closed doors. Eye contact isnโ€™t natural for me, but with practice and forcing myself out of my comfort zone, no one would be any the wiser when chatting to me now. I’m a social butterfly who doesn’t outwardly appear autistic, but I have a piece of paper and an autism spectrum quotient score that say otherwise

No, I do not “look” like the stereotypical image of autism, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not riding that spectrum.

This attitude towards autism’s outward appearance could in fact be quite detrimental. If we don’t recognize that a person is autistic when they don’t fit the preconceived mould; they may languish for years without adequate understanding and supports for their needs. This is especially true for females on the spectrum who have learned the art of social masking, often flying under the radar of male centered diagnostic criteria.

As I have discussed many times before, autism is a spectrum, everyone is different and therefore their traits will be different. Don’t judge us by the ‘autism’ cover adorning our story, delve deeper into the book and you may be surprised at what you’ll learn ๐Ÿ™‚

Hope you enjoyed this post and have a lovely bank holiday weekend dear Earthlings! ๐Ÿ˜€

Aoife

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