Autism and Hair

Greetings Earthlings! 😀

This week, I’d like to talk about the topic of autism and hair. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a weird post about people with autism having an excessive amount of hair or something!😂

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Hair can however be a an issue for autists on a sensory level when it comes to getting a haircut and is also tied to many behavioural issues.

Thankfully in my case I have no issues with hair cuts (in fact I actively look forward to them!), however, for many autists, the simple act of sitting in the hairdressers chair can be a completely overwhelming experience. Sensitivities to touch can make a hair cut extremely difficult- hair washing and touching, head tilting and hair styling could be painful or overwhelming. Moreover, the noise of the scissors, clippers and styling equipment like hairdryers can equally trigger a meltdown. You can find some useful tips for navigating visits to the hairdressers here: https://www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life/everyday-life/hairdressers.aspx

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In terms of behaviours, trichotillomania (TTM) has been linked to autism. Trichotillomania is a hair pulling disorder marked by a compulsive urge to pull out your own hair, often resulting in noticeable baldness. The condition can occur in response to stress and anxiety where the pulling action provides a calming sensation. MRI studies have shown that people with trichotillomania have more grey matter in their brains. As MRI’s of autists brains have also shown increased grey matter, this could explain why autists can tend towards this type of behaviour. Treatments for this behaviour include CBT and in some cases the anti-depressant clomipramine. In addition to trichotillomania, some autists with pica eat their hair known as trichophagia (also known as Rapunzel syndrome).

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On a scientific level, hair has interestingly been used to identify autism in some patients! In a recent study, researchers noted that children with autism also had abnormal hair whorls (tufts of hair that were growing in the opposite direction to the rest) in addition to prominent foreheads and an asymmetrical face suggesting that these features could be used for diagnostic criteria. Makes me wonder about the shape of my own face/direction of my own hair growth! 😂

Hope you enjoyed this post!

Have a good weekend dear Earthlings! 🙂

Aoife

What I Wished I Knew About Autism

Greetings Earthlings! 🙂

This week I’d like talk about some of the things I wished I had known about autism when I was first diagnosed. There’s so much to learn about the autistic spectrum, but here are just a selection of things I personally wish I had known:

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Autism is neurological not psychological– This is something that really stems from a lack of proper education about autism in the world. Because autism is so behaviour orientated, there is often a lot of onus on the psychology of the condition, and as such, people can be very dismissive of it. “If you just did this..”, “if you just tried to fit in…”- it’s not that simple. The autistic brain is wired completely differently to the neurotypical brain. There are chemical differences, differences in multiple structures in the brain, even differences in the number of brain connections. Behavioural changes can be made and coping strategies developed, but we need to be aware of the biological aspect- you can’t just swap out your brain for another. I wish I had understood that my own brain was hardwired to drop me into unfortunate situations growing up!

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Autism is a different way of thinking– The autistic brain is built differently, so therefore it thinks differently. It doesn’t mean that autistic thinking is not “normal”, just different. 

Autism is a spectrum- I know this one may seem silly as we’ve all heard of the autistic spectrum, but I wished I had known what being on the spectrum really meant. I had often heard the phrase “oh so-and-so is on the spectrum”, but took it to be a catch all term for people who were a bit odd, didn’t quite learn like everyone else, didn’t quite act like everyone else- basically people who weren’t quite “normal”. I never understood the minutia of the spectrum, that there were high functioning and lower functioning forms of autism. I wish I had known that traits were highly variable, that not everyone with autism is the same and that every case is unique. Perhaps if I had known this, I would have been far more understanding and less dismissive of my fellow autists growing up.

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Autists do experience empathy– We just may not be the best at expressing it. In fact as I’ve previously discussed, research suggests that we feel emotions on an even greater scale than neurotypicals. 

Autists want love– Asexuality is often thought to go hand in hand with autism. As I’ve previously discussed, most autists want to be loved, we’re just not sure how to communicate that or navigate the complexities of romantic relationships. Yes, there are a number of asexual individuals on the spectrum (as there equally are in the neurotypical population), but as with the spectrum of autistic traits, there is also a spectrum of sexuality

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That I wasn’t alone– For much of my life I felt like I didn’t fit in, like the world just didn’t understand me. I was always saying or doing the wrong thing, regularly subjected to looks of disappointment and dismay followed by lectures about my behaviour. When I would meltdown, I was ridiculed or punished as I sat there baffled by my own reactions, unable to explain to myself or others what had happened. Everything changed once I got my diagnosis; suddenly my behaviour was not so abnormal after all. There were articles, books and blogs filled with thousands of similar stories to mine. There was a name, an explanation, a community- I never have to feel alone again.

That I was “normal” (whatever that means) – As a result of being undiagnosed and misunderstood, I was constantly berating myself for not conforming to the accepted “norm”. The world told me that I was weird, that I was “wrong”, where nothing I ever seemed to do outside of academics seemed to be “right”. Had I truly known and understood that there is no such thing as “normal”, had I, and the world, known that being autistic is “normal” for millions of people, my life could have been so much simpler.

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Hope you liked this post dear Earthlings! 🙂 

Enjoy the weekend! 

Aoife

Late Autism Diagnosis

Greetings Earthlings! 😀

This week after reading that British comedian Johnathan Ross’s daughter received an autism diagnosis late in life, I thought I’d write about my own experience of receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult.

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As you may know from my blog intro, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome a few weeks shy of my 24th birthday. With autism diagnoses on the rise in recent years, it seems hard to imagine that a person would not be diagnosed until their twenties, but this was my reality. As it turns out, I was far from alone in my predicament with such notable autists as Susan Boyle, Anne Hegerty, Dan Aykroyd and Gary Numan all receiving adult diagnoses.

So why are so many autists only being diagnosed as adults?

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Leading autism experts have described a “lost generation” of autists who grew up during a time where autism was poorly researched and understood. Many high functioning autists did not fit the criteria for classic autism, and as such slipped through the diagnostic radar. It is only in recent years following the introduction of the spectrum concept that many previously undiagnosed autists are finally getting the diagnosis they should have received decades previously. 

In my case, I was both academic and social in school, so no one really batted an eyelid or questioned that something was amiss. My meltdowns were put down to stress (you would not believe the amount of school reports to my parents that said I needed to chill!😂) or temper tantrums, or just plain being a drama queen- oh if my teachers/friends only knew that I wanted none of the attention that my meltdowns brought! 😛 It was only after I failed to grow out of my quirks in college and worsening social anxiety that my family sought to diagnose me (you can read the full story here).

In fact, statistically speaking, the vast majority of women with autism do not get their diagnosis until they are adults, often going unnoticed due to our ability to socially mask, or in some cases, misdiagnosed with conditions co-morbid with autism. Moreover, as I have discussed in numerous posts, women often present with completely different autistic traits to men, but these differences went unnoticed by the medical community for decades as the original descriptions of autism were based on a largely male cohort of patients.

So you’ve got your autism diagnosis, what happens now?

For many, the diagnosis comes as a relief. It feels as though you’ve got the final missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle, like you’re just seeing the full picture of yourself for the first time. However, it equally takes a while to get your head around it all, and the experience often leaves you with more questions than answers. You’re handed this life changing diagnosis, but realistically there are little to no supports available for autists over the age of 18 in most countries. So where does that leave you?

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Here are some tips that I found helpful for dealing with a late autism diagnosis:

Educate yourself- I’ve always had a thirst for knowledge, so whenever I don’t understand something I hit the books. Learning about autism was one of the cornerstones to helping me to better understand and embrace my diagnosis, allowing me to be a little kinder to myself in my symptomatic moments.

Check out some autism blogs/diagnosis stories- I found that reading the stories of other autists was quite comforting as I was coming to terms with my diagnosis. You’re not alone in this 🤗

Link up with local autism support groups/charities– there’s no better source of information and available supports than those who’ve gone through an autism diagnosis in your area. They will all have been through the same thing as you, whether as a recently diagnosed adult or as a parent to autistic child, and will be able to provide you with the best resources available in your locale.

Try CBT– as I’ve discussed in a previous post, CBT wasn’t really my thing for helping me manage my symptoms, but it was highly beneficial in those early few months after my diagnosis to have a professional there who knew about autism to talk things through and to help me to understand my behaviours better.

Talk about it with your friends and family– in many ways, an autism diagnosis is not a journey we walk alone; our friends and family walk it with us. They are on a journey to better understand you too and will want to be there to support you in every way you need.

At the end of the day, while it was not ideal receiving an adult diagnosis, the personal and mental benefits that I have attained in recent years have been completely worth it. I finally understand myself and feel comfortable in my own skin. At long last, I’m able to fully be me in all the weird and wonderful ways God made me to be 🙂

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Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! 🙂

Stay safe!

Aoife

Autism and Working from Home

Greetings Earthlings! 😀

As the lockdown continues, this week I’d like to discuss the topic of working from home and autism.

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Although the prospect of working in a comfortable environment away from the social jungle of the workplace can be quite attractive, working from home may pose other challenges for autists. As discussed in previous posts, an ordinary working day can be difficult enough for an autist, but the lack of a regular working routine, the stress of remote video meetings/phone calls, and difficulty focusing on work when surrounded by home comforts, may spell trouble.

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Like many, I have spent the past few weeks working remotely from my family home. Thankfully prior to this crisis, I have regularly been afforded the opportunity to work from home, so this transition has not been as much of a shock to the system as it may have been for other autists.

Working from home isn’t always easy, but by putting the right structures in place you can easily navigate this minefield.

So here are some of my top tips for working from home:

Set aside a specific workspace: setup a corner of the house, a specific room or a desk space from which to work from. Remove any potential distractions from this space, setup your laptop/screen, add a few pens- get everything you’ll need for your working day ready. This will give you more structure and make it easier to work. Try to keep this space separate from where you spend your leisure time- you don’t want to feel like you’re in work mode when you’re watching Netflix late at night.

Work regular break times into your schedule: organize set break times throughout the day- coffee at 11, lunch at 1, a 3pm snack, whatever works for you. It can be hard for an autist to detach when you get into the zone (especially when working solo), but several hours of uninterrupted work are not good for your mental or physical health. Pick your break times and stick to them, giving further balance and structure to your day.

Get out of your PJs- I know it’s tempting to sit there in your comfy clothes (especially given many autists sensitivity to clothing), but you need to get up and get dressed. It will give you better routine and structure to differentiate between work and play- and it will also remove the stress of being caught in a state of dishevelment if an unscheduled work call catches you off guard 😉

Try to schedule work meetings– Communication with colleagues is all over the place these days with entire companies working remotely, and the stress of unexpected calls and the stream of instant messages pinging in the background can be quite distracting for an autist. If you can, try to set aside set times for when work conversations/team catchups can be held- this will help give you further structure and routine

Ask if you can keep your camera off– If you’re really feeling shy and uncomfortable, ask if you can keep your camera off during a meeting. Lot’s of people are having issues with slow internet and will need to turn their cameras off, so don’t feel obliged to if you’re really uncomfortable with video conferencing. It’s not always an ideal solution for teams that need to visually gauge team mates responses, but if you explain your struggles to your employer I’m sure they will understand, especially in these trying times. Just try not to fall asleep on the job… 😛

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Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings!

Enjoy the weekend! 🙂

Aoife

My Autistic Fight Song- Rosie Weldon

Greetings Earthlings! 😀

As many of you may know, I love to read, and so I was delighted to be offered the opportunity to read an advanced copy of ‘My Autistic Fight Song‘ by Rosie Weldon.

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This enticing memoir charts Rosie’s journey through higher education, her autism diagnosis and her struggles in the workplace as she strived to achieve her dream of becoming an accountant.

You can find a trailer for the book here on Rosie’s Youtube Channel:

 

So what did I make of the book?

Reading this book was a very interesting experience for me as someone who has yet to engage with another female autist in the flesh. I’ve read many abridged accounts and watched many interviews with other female autists, but this was the first time I really was given a raw insight into the mind of someone other than myself.

In some ways I could have been reading my own story. My experience of autism has been significantly milder, but yet many of our experiences align. Both diagnosed in our twenties, both encountered challenges with social anxiety, both found comfort in music, Harry Potter and the confines of a secluded bathroom stall. It was fascinating to see into Rosie’s thought process, her thinking so often mimicking my own- growing up, it would have been nice to have come across this book to let me know that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t so different after all.

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Perhaps most interesting was Rosie’s experiences of the workplace. As I have discussed previously, only a small percentage of autists find full time employment. Rosie’s perseverance in the face of adversity in the workplace was inspiring. She was fiercely determined not to be another statistic, and this determination made her dream of being an accountant a reality.

It was also most heartening to see the support that Rosie received from her employers along the way- they did not see her autism as a challenge and instead found ways to work within her comfort zone, such as moving noisy machines to a different room. Having struggled in the workplace myself in a role where I was not adequately supported, I’m glad to see that not all employers see autism as a burden.

For anyone looking for an insight into the mind of a female autist, “My Autistic Fight Song” is the perfect bedtime read 🙂

Rosie also has her own blog where she talks about autism which you can check out here: https://www.rosieweldon.com/

If you’d like to read ‘My Autistic Fight Song‘, the book will be available to buy from April 1st (conveniently timed for Autism Awareness Month) 🙂

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Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! 😀

Enjoy the weekend!

Aoife

Autism and Coping with Disappointment

Greetings Earthlings! 🙂

As I was unable to travel on a much anticipated break to the north of Italy last week due to the coronavirus outbreak (just my luck!), the subject of disappointment has been weighing heavily on my mind.

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Disappointments, whilst an unfortunate fact of life, are oftentimes more difficult for autists to cope with. As we feel emotions on a much greater scale than neurotypicals, naturally, we oftentimes find disappointments quite tough. Neurological impairments in emotional processing can make it difficult for an autist to wrap their head around the sinking feeling of disappointment which can trigger meltdowns and shutdowns depending on the level of disappointment.

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I’ve not always had the greatest experiences with disappointment in my own life. Growing up, something as simple as a friend cancelling plans, or missing an episode of CSI could bring me to tears; if it were something greater like a bad test result or not being chosen for a team, I could isolate myself for hours melting down as if it were the worst thing in the world.

Thankfully as I’ve grown older, it’s been a lot easier to navigate disappointments- I’ve been surprisingly calm about missing my holidays last week for example.

 

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Here are some of my top tips for coping with disappointment:

Write it out– when your mind is overwhelmed by your disappointment, I’ve found that verbalizing your feelings in writing can really help to relieve the pressure in your head.

Contextualize the situation– try to see the bigger picture through your disappointment. Will this matter in a few days, weeks or months? Things may feel like the end of the world after a disappointment, but as my mother always says- “it’s not cancer!”

Focus on the good-I know it seems obvious, but focusing on the positive side of things and the things that you have going for you can really help to pull you out of a funk and divert a potential meltdown.

Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! 🙂

Enjoy the weekend!

Aoife

Happy 3rd Anniversary!

Greetings Earthlings!

Happy New Year!! 😀 Hope that you and yours enjoyed the holiday season as much as I did 🙂

Here we are again- another year’s blogging under my belt! 😲

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No one is as shocked as I am that I have now been writing this blog for THREE whole years, and even more so that you’re all still enjoying my ramblings! 😂 I am so appreciative for your continued readership and support. Reading your messages and comments about how my words have helped you has meant so much to me these past 3 years 🙂

I’ve got some brand new ideas cooking away so roll on 2020! 😀

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Aoife

Seasons Greetings!

Greetings Earthlings! 😀

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As 2019 draws to a close (and so two does my third year of this blog! 😲), I’d just like to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and every blessing for 2020 🥳

Thank you all so much for your continued readership, support and kind messages this year, and I look forward to writing for you all again in the new year 🙂

Enjoy the holiday season dear Earthlings! 😀

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Aoife

Autism and Trust

Greetings Earthlings! 🙂

This week I’d like to briefly talk about the issue of trust and autism.

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Trust is something that we all struggle with from time to time. In an increasingly disingenuous world, it can be tough to tell friend from foe. This is even more problematic for the autistic community.

Studies have shown that autists struggle to read facial cues for signs of trustworthiness in others. As an autist is so often transparent in their words and actions with their black and white thinking, it’s a struggle to comprehend that others may not be. For example, if an adult tells an autistic child a lie, they will usually believe them without question- after all, why would a grown up lie to you? Isn’t lying supposed to be bad? This is particularly worrying for an autist coming up against potential bullies and predators.

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I found this to be a problem during my school days. On the surface, my peers seemed nice to me. I thought many were friends, but I was unable to tell from their tones that they were mocking me and my eccentricities. It was only after the damage was done that I saw through the facade, which made it hard to trust my peers for a long time. When you see everything in black and white, it can be hard to discern that a smiling face may be a sarcastic sneer.

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But is there a biological reason for our trust issues?

Studies have shown that changes in the structure of the autistic brain can cause issues with trust. Changes in the ventral medial prefrontal cortex (the area that assesses social rewards) in people that tended to be more trusting of others, and changes in the amygdala (an area associated with memory and emotional responses) in both those who were more and less trusting of others appear to be linked to trust issues.

Moreover, as I’ve discussed in previous posts, oxytocin is a hormone that is thought to be associated with social behaviour, emotional attachment and trust. Multiple studies suggest that oxytocin levels are dysregulated in autists, which could explain our struggles when it comes to trusting others.

Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! 😀

Have a lovely weekend!

Aoife

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