This week I’d like to talk about a recent trip I took to Google’s Accessibility Discovery Centre (ADC) in Dublin- the first of it’s kind in the EU. Now I know you might be wondering what a trip to Google has to do with autism- but bear with me!
So the ADC is a dedicated space where researchers and engineers develop new technologies that can help people with disabilities including those with autism. Not only do they develop new technologies, Google also uses this space to engage more effectively with disability communities to better understand our needs. The space is specifically designed to facilitate different disabilities- it’s wheelchair accessible, the colour scheme was designed to suit different disabilities with muted tones, and the lighting can be easily adjusted for sensitivities.
There were a number of really cool, innovative technologies that will really help the quality of life for people with physical disabilities including games that can be controlled with a chin joystick and ones that track eye movements- you can literally drive a car on the screen using your eyes! They are also working on some amazing tools for those with nonverbal autism such as a picture based program where you can click on images to make sentences (kind of like the rapid prompting method). You can see this in the image below:
They also showed us around their suite of accessibility tools and extensions available when using Google Chrome, including dyslexic font to help make reading easier- who knew such things could exist?🤯 One of my favourite parts of the tour was the neurodivergent corner where they had a range of nifty sensory toys you could play with which were great for stimming. They also had some glasses for light sensitivity issues, loop earplugs and a sliding social battery pin- which I could really do with getting my hands on 🤣.
It is a really cool facility and it’s great to see new dedicated spaces like these that are working on making life easier for neurodivergents and others with disabilities. If you’d like to tour the ADC, you can email Google at adc-dublin@google.com to set it up- I highly recommend the experience! 😀
This week I’d like to discuss a topic that many autists struggle with- boredom. We all know the feeling, that mental itch that makes you want to jump out of your skin, but for autists boredom can be so much worse.
Many autists, especially those with co-morbid ADHD, crave constant stimulation. As a result, boredom occurs more easily than neurotypicals. A simple lack of interest in a topic, if a task is too easy, or feeling overwhelmed can trigger boredom and autists will tune out fast. When this happens, it can lead to negative behaviours where an autist will act out and be destructive and disruptive, it might even trigger a meltdown in chronic scenarios (I have had this happen in work following months of tedious tasks🙈).
Boredom has always been a challenge for me. I constantly need to be working on something. In school I often got in trouble for reading/drawing/writing during class as I would get ahead of my work and need to keep my hands busy while waiting for the lesson to move forward. If anything they should have encouraged my habit for productivity in my downtime! 🤷♀️
But what does the science have to say?
As I’ve discussed previously, autists have higher levels of stimulating neurotransmitters and lower levels of calming neurotransmitters, so their neurons are firing excessively in the brain. When they aren’t able to channel this excess stimulation into something, boredom takes over which can lead to negative behaviours that cause problems. Autists also have dysregulated levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine- the chemical involved in motivation, pleasure and reward systems. When dopamine levels are low, motivation is low, so when an activity is not enjoyable, autists won’t have the brain power to engage and boredom will set in.
On another level, there have been reports from doctors claiming that FMRI scans of ADHD brains show that areas of the brain associated with pain light up when they experience boredom, suggesting that boredom might actually be a painful experience for neurodivergents. However, other neuroscientists have refuted this claim as the human pain response largely remains a mystery, so making this assumption from the data is a bit of a stretch.
This week I’d like to discuss autism in one of my favourite teenage book series ‘The Princess Diaries‘ (we won’t go into the films- they deviated too much from the books and Anne Hathaway comes across more adorably awkward than autistic).
So what are the books about?
The books focus on American teenager Mia Thermopolis and her discovery that she is secretly a princess to the small European principality of Genovia. Mia keeps a diary to help process her feelings in the wake of this massive revelation, whilst also navigating the ups and downs of school life, teenage crushes, bullies, self image and self-discovery. Two later books geared at the adults who grew up with Mia document her royal wedding and experiences of quarantine life during the Covid-19 pandemic.
But what about autism?
Now here’s where things get interesting. Reading these books was probably the first time that I had ever heard of Asperger’s syndrome (the original series was written pre-2013 when Asperger’s was still a separate diagnosis). Mia is assigned to do a report on the condition in psychology class in book 5 ‘Princess in Pink‘ (or ‘Give Me Five ‘ as I knew it), quickly identifying with many traits, and subsequently diagnosing herself and everyone in her social circle. However, her mother reminds her that she thought she had Tourette’s syndrome during her previous assignment, brushing away her fears and never mentioning autism again. Her mom does suggest that Mia’s best friend Lily might have Aspergers- which is likely, but in my opinion Lily tends to veer more towards narcissism than spectrum.
Princess Diaries author Meg Cabot
So is Mia really autistic?
Despite being brushed off by her family, I (and many other autistic readers) believe that ironically Mia is quite likely on the spectrum. I always identified with Mia and saw a lot of myself in her. Tomboyish and nerdy, she always marched to her own beat (in spite of her bullies), but struggled to fit in outside her close knit friend group. She’s a highly sensitive over-thinker with a tendency to catastrophize and create scenarios in her head out of nothing. She obsesses over the minutia of how the world perceives her and the social pressures and expectations of society (she spends several books overthinking about her readiness for physical intimacy and what is expected of her), often describing herself as a ‘freak’ who wants to be normal. An avid writer, Mia journals everything in detail, her thoughts often resonating with ADHD thinking. Moreover, she is quite drawn to smells like her brothers head and her boyfriend’s neck, feeling calmer after she has sniffed these- something that many autists can relate to. She also tends to look to romantic comedies and romance novels for how relationships should play out- something that many experts have noted autistic women do.
One moment in particular stands out to me with the hindsight of my diagnosis. In the 6th book Princess in Training (Sixsational in the UK/Ireland), Mia completely cracks under the pressure of her princess duties, running for student council, her first ever B in English, and her paranoia that her boyfriend will break up with her as she’s not ready for sex. After seeing her grandmother handing out pens in school for her presidential campaign, she freaks out, starts throwing the pens and completely breaks down crying and is hauled off to the nurses office, an incident the nurse described as “a crying jag”. This seems far more like a classic meltdown to me. Moreover, there are many more instances of things like this where when things go wrong, Mia goes into flight mode running off with her diary to her fire escape, the school roof, abandoned stairwells and spends an awful lot of time in bathroom stalls mirroring my own responses to upsetting situations as a teenager.
Some readers however were not happy about Mia’s assumption that everyone she knows has Asperger’s. Meg Cabot has apologised on her blog for any pain caused by this as she was trying to portray how Asperger’s can be so diverse in it’s symptoms and how we all have traits, but was mainly trying to show the phenomenon of thinking you have the disease you’re reading about. On another level, I think this is really interesting how Mia keeps seeing it in her friend group as quite often neurodivergents tend to gravitate towards each other (a number of my friends have sought autism/ADHD diagnoses as adults), so it’s fair to say her friends likely do have many autistic traits.
Not much was widely known about the female experience of autism back when these books were written, but it’s a pretty accurate depiction, however unintentional.
Leading on from my previous post about autism and ADHD, this week I’d like to expand on the topic by discussing the concept of AuDHD- aka autism + ADHD.
ADHD has been getting a lot of online attention in the last couple of years with many adults getting late life diagnoses as knowledge of the condition has advanced. Up to 10 years ago, it was thought that both autism and ADHD were completely separate diagnoses with no overlap. Now, it’s thought that 30-80% of autists also have ADHD, with many discovering they had autism during an ADHD diagnosis and vice versa.
When I previously wrote about this topic, I estimated that I was mildly ADHD, but the more stories I have been hearing about the experiences of female ADHDers, I exhibit a lot more traits than I originally thought. Because I wasn’t fitting the classic impulsive/hyperactive model of ADHD, I never thought to dig much deeper, buuutttttt, just like autism, it turns out that there are differences in symptoms between men and women. The original research observed more men than women (there’s a whole history of women being under researched in medicine) and so it was believed to impact more males than females, but, as with autism, sex differences and masking behaviours have made it very difficult to diagnose ADHD in women. ADHD also operates on a severity spectrum which can make it difficult to pick up on.
With all this overlap, enter the concept of AuDHD.
One of the most fascinating aspects of AuDHD is it’s paradoxical nature:
Autists like routine, but ADHD makes it difficult to maintain
ADHDers crave stimulation, but autists get easily overstimulated
Autists are rigid with rules, timekeeping and planning, but ADHDers suffer from time-blindness, impulsivity and hyperactivity making it difficult to follow plans and rules
ADHDers can be messy and chaotic, but autists like order and systemising
Effectively in AuDHD, the paradoxes can camouflage each other, making it much harder to diagnose either disorder. It’s like having 2 different brains fighting for control, but only one or the other will win out at any given time. For example, today you might do a weeks worth of work, tomorrow you might struggle to find the dopamine to do anything.
At other times, the symptoms are symbiotic. For example in my case, I can have complete time-blindness when I’m in the middle of something, but if I need to keep an appointment, the social rules governing lateness force me to be on time. AuDHD is a constant seesaw between the two conditions, a separate presentation in itself.
While it’s not a separate diagnosis yet, given the prevalence of comorbidity, who knows what the future will hold as neurodivergent research increases.
This week I’d like to talk about the new young adult series Geek Girl on Netflix (they’re really on the ball with neurodiversity the last few years!) and it’s accurate depiction of the struggles of an autistic teenage girl.
Based on the Geek Girl books by Holly Smale (which I have purchased and will write about eventually), the series follows awkward “geek” Harriet Manners who’s life completely changes after being scouted by a modelling agency. Mercilessly bullied at school, she sets out on her modelling journey to reinvent herself. You can check out a trailer for the series here:
But you haven’t mentioned anything about autism yet Aoife?
So- the author Holly Smale wrote these books based on her own experiences of being an awkward teen model, BUT Holly was diagnosed with autism at the age of 39 and has retrospectively described Harriet as autistic. As such, it seems that the TV series is planning to incorporate an autism diagnosis down the line, as lead actress Emily Carey is autistic, and there have been many hints to her neurodivergence including a conversation between her agent and her father about seeking a professional and not wanting to label her.
So what did I make of the show?
Well I absolutely loved it- a lovely wholesome show with an authentic portrayal of neurodivergence, I was hooked! Harriet’s autistic traits were subtle (as they are for most high functioning autists)- stimming, coordination issues, minor issues reading social cues etc. What really sets the series apart from others though is Harriet’s narration. We get to see her internal monologue, how she thinks and processes, which really helps to give an insight into what we autists go through on the inside (though I will say that my internal monologues speak waaaaaaay faster than Harriet’s 😂). Harriet’s friend Toby is also clearly on the spectrum, albeit he presents far more like the traditional autistic oddball that we often see in media depictions of autism- which while a little stereotypical, really helps to show how different male and female presentations of autism can differ.
One of the other things I found most interesting was how Harriet’s dad also appears to be neurodivergent. He seems to struggle with work, is quite nerdy and eccentric (he drives Harriet to school in his PJs one day) and is described by his wife as very childish. At one point during an online job interview his wife holds up flashcards for him coaching him on what to say, reminding me of how people have tried to guide me in certain social situations. Very often with on screen portrayals of autism we focus on the child or the oddball single adult, we don’t tend to see neurodivergence in the wider family like between parent and child 0r other spectrum siblings. Autism is highly genetic with many parents discovering their neurodivergence after their child is diagnosed, and there can often be multiple autistic children within a family (I once came across a family with 5 sons on the spectrum).
My one criticism, again like Dinosaur, was Harriet’s stereotypical love of dinosaurs and desire to be a paleontologist, buuutttt as a real autist wrote the show, I can’t really argue with lived experience 😜. I’m really starting to wonder- did I miss the autism memo that you need to be obsessed with dinosaurs cause I have never really seen the fascination 🤣🙈 Dogs are much more my vibe!
Interestingly, many critics have branded the show an “inauthentic” representation of autism… to which Holly Smale had the following to say:
“It’s based on books written by me (autistic), about me as a teen (autistic). I wrote all of Harriet for the show (still autistic) and the lead actor is autistic. It’s the DEFINITION of authentic. I think people are so used to seeing inauthentic representation they don’t recognise it when it’s in front of them.”
You can’t get more authentic than that folks! 🤣🙈
All in all I highly recommend this show and look forward to seeing Harriet’s journey in future seasons!
This week I’d like to take a quick look at some likely spectrum characters in the beloved TV sitcom Friends. Now I know what you’re thinking, autism was never mentioned during the 10 season run (likely due to a lack of general awareness of the condition during the 1990s), but many people have retrospectively noticed some autistic traits in the gang.
For those of you who have been living under a rock (or are so young you have yet to see the show), the TV series follows 6 friends in their 20’s/30’s living in New York, charting their friendship and the hilarious antics they get up to. Here’s a compilation video of the iconic intro across the seasons to give you a flavour of the show:
So let’s get to autism. First up- let’s take a look at Ross Geller (David Schwimmer).
Ross displays many traits of a high functioning autist. He’s a quirky, highly strung palaeontologist (do I smell a stereotype?) who is intensely passionate about science.
He is often socially awkward, misses out on social cues and sarcasm, moves with an unusual gait, and shows signs of sensory issues (he thinks that ice-cream is too cold). Ross is also prone to impulsive decisions, obsessive tendencies, and outbursts of rage that border on meltdown-like behaviour as you can see in the clip below.
Ross’s sister Monica (played by Courtney Cox) on the other hand, while not as overtly quirky as Ross, also displays some traits. Her OCD and control issues are often centre stage in the show with many comedic moments drawing from this. She can be an obsessive overthinker and fiercely competitive, often fixating on certain topics in her pursuit of perfectionism.
Her compulsive overeating in her teen years could also be considered an autistic trait. She may not be quite as neurodivergent as her brother, but she could fall under broader autism phenotype as do many siblings of autists. The iconic dance scene between the brother-sister duo really highlights their quirkiness and possible neurodiversity in their complete blindness at how ridiculous they look.
Finally, let’s take a look at the iconic Phoebe Buffay. Portrayed by Lisa Kudrow, Phoebe is the quintessential outsider displaying many autistic and ADHD traits. Brutally honest and hyperactive, she unashamedly marches to her own beat, completely oblivious to how others perceive her (or her terrible singing). She also flaps her hands an awful lot in the show and has been known to chew her hair in earlier seasons which are signs of stimming behaviour.
Interestingly, neurodivergent individuals tend to stick together in real life (I’ve spoken to many spectrum friends and you tend to subconsciously attract each other 🤣), which could explain why 3 out of the group of 6 display autistic traits. This is perhaps the most realistic aspect of autism that the show unconsciously portrays.
Now obviously we will never know if these characters are on the spectrum, but it’s still nice to see clearly neurodivergent characters marching to the beat of their own drum for us to identify with 🙂
This week I’d like to talk about a new TV interview show on BCC called ‘The Assembly’. The format of this show involves a celebrity being grilled by a panel of journalists over the course of 3 hours (30 minutes of which are broadcast). Sounds simple enough, however, the unique thing about this TV show is that the panel is comprised entirely of 35 neurodivergent novice journalists! Bucking the growing trend of highly scripted, edited, agenda driven interviews, the show is an un-filtered breath of fresh air where no question is out of bounds.
The Assembly is carefully recorded with autists in mind to prevent sensory overload, such as recording in a room with lots of natural light (to avoid fluorescent artificial lights). This show is the UK adaptation of the popular French show ‘Les Rencontres du Papotin‘ where many French public figures such as Emanuel Macron were interviewed by a neurodivergent panel run by the newspaper Le Papotin. In honour of Autism Acceptance Week, the BBC broadcast an interview with Welsh actor Michael Sheen on Friday the 5th of April. There are no further episodes currently scheduled, but showrunners have lots of eager celebrities wishing to be interviewed should The Assembly be picked up for series. You can see a trailer for the series here:
The show is a very heartwarming and wholesome affair that has had reviewers raving about it. The questions are so unexpected (ranging from Michael’s opinions on the royal family to the age gap between him and his partner) with delightful results. Michael is such a kind and patient interviewee providing insightful and hilarious answers to the delight of his audience. In one particularly touching moment, a very shy interviewer named Leo is struggling to get past his nerves to ask his question, but Michael is patient with him, allowing him the time and space to ask a very insightful question about Michaels favourite poet.
All in all the show is a wonderful change to your regularly scheduled BBC interview, with the added bonus that the show provides visibility and creates opportunities for the often marginalized autistic community.
This week I’d like to talk about another co-morbid condition with autism and ADHD– rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD).
So what exactly is RSD?
RSD is an intense or overwhelming emotional sensitivity to rejection and criticism (both perceived and real). This can cause intense emotional pain that can be difficult to bear.
Looking back over my childhood, I really struggled with RSD. Whilst I am well versed in the art of rejection now that I’m in my thirties, growing up as an undiagnosed autist did not make for an easy ride. Even the slightest rejections could trigger meltdowns as my brain struggled to process the situation. Something as simple as someone not immediately having time for me, a passing comment in a raised tone, even constructive criticism could set me off. Once at a family event in a hotel I had a bad meltdown because my uncle was short with me for requesting a different flavour of ice-cream to the one that I had been given. Cue me hiding out in the toilets followed by 3 hours doodling in the back of the car instead of joining the party from my RSD over-reaction (I was 13 by the way! 🙈). I can’t even blame sensory issues for that over-reaction, I just didn’t feel like eating raspberry ripple that day! 😂
So is there any scientific reason for RSD?
RSD, like maladaptive daydreaming, is not a clinical diagnosis so it’s hard to underpin how it works. There isn’t exactly a scientific way to measure rejection. However, as it has been observed in patients with autism and ADHD, psychologists believe that it is caused by alterations in brain structure in the regions that regulate and process emotions such as the frontal lobe and the amygdala- both regions where structural changes have been linked to autistic symptoms.
As discussed previously, autists often have a warped sense of perception and logic so it can be very easy to misconstrue and over-react to rejection. The tendency towards perfectionism and black and white thinking in particular can make us far more susceptible to such negative reactions. For example, if someone told me that they didn’t like my shoes, even though it’s only one component of my outfit and just a passing comment, my younger self would have spiraled.
Life is often all or nothing for an autist, so if someone rejects one small thing, it may skew our entire perception of ourselves.
You don’t like my shoes = you don’t like me.
The shoes are wrong, I chose the shoes, the shoes are on my body, therefore, I’m wrong. The world is black and white so if I’m wearing the wrong shoes, everything else about me has to be wrong by extension- you’re either wrong or right, you can’t be both.
RSV can be pretty exhausting for an autist, so understanding of our responses to rejection is vital to supporting us. If you’re struggling with RSV, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help you learn how to better process feelings of rejection, but medication such as ADHD drugs and anti-depressants can be useful for more severe cases.
A Is For Aoife Not Autism 