Autism and Coping with Disappointment

Greetings Earthlings! 🙂

As I was unable to travel on a much anticipated break to the north of Italy last week due to the coronavirus outbreak (just my luck!), the subject of disappointment has been weighing heavily on my mind.

Disappointments, whilst an unfortunate fact of life, are oftentimes more difficult for autists to cope with. As we feel emotions on a much greater scale than neurotypicals, naturally, we oftentimes find disappointments quite tough. Neurological impairments in emotional processing can make it difficult for an autist to wrap their head around the sinking feeling of disappointment which can trigger meltdowns and shutdowns depending on the level of disappointment.

I’ve not always had the greatest experiences with disappointment in my own life. Growing up, something as simple as a friend cancelling plans, or missing an episode of CSI could bring me to tears; if it were something greater like a bad test result or not being chosen for a team, I could isolate myself for hours melting down as if it were the worst thing in the world.

Thankfully as I’ve grown older, it’s been a lot easier to navigate disappointments- I’ve been surprisingly calm about missing my holidays last week for example.

Here are some of my top tips for coping with disappointment:

Write it out– when your mind is overwhelmed by your disappointment, I’ve found that verbalizing your feelings in writing can really help to relieve the pressure in your head.

Contextualize the situation– try to see the bigger picture through your disappointment. Will this matter in a few days, weeks or months? Things may feel like the end of the world after a disappointment, but as my mother always says- “it’s not cancer!”

Focus on the good-I know it seems obvious, but focusing on the positive side of things and the things that you have going for you can really help to pull you out of a funk and divert a potential meltdown.

Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings! 🙂

Enjoy the weekend!

Aoife