Autism and Pensivity

Greetings Earthlings! 🙂

This week I’m going to talk a little bit about pensivity and autism, or as my sister describes it in my interview with her, “staring into the abyss.” 😛

We all have those moments where we retreat into ourselves. Our eyes glaze over, we tune out from our surroundings and make weird, subconscious facial expressions as we dreamily ride the thought train round and round.

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For an autist, these spells of introspection tend to happen a little more frequently. Our minds move so fast that we often find it hard to concentrate, and somehow we slip into this abyss of swirling thoughts:

‘What do I want for dinner tomorrow?’

‘Is evolution real?’

‘What would I look like as a blonde?’

‘What would it be like to have an Alpaca farm!?’ (genuinely spent a weekend considering the practicalities once!)

These are just a few of the millions of questions that I spend my time pondering in the abyss, proceeding to explore these thoughts in minute detail! 😛

I’ve been known to spend almost an hour lying on my bed, staring into space without saying a single word to anyone!

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Once I’ve fallen in, my mind could literally go anywhere-I’ve even conjured up a musical based on the music of My Chemical Romance during one of these particular spells!

It’s not a bad thing in my experience, I get some of best ideas wandering the abyss, but people just don’t know what to make of me in this state in social situations. As my sister says, it really creeps her out watching me! 😛

I suppose I can’t blame her when I often sit around staring like this for 40 minutes:

 

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Half the time, I’m not even aware that I’m doing it, which can be awkward on a night out.  If it get’s very loud or the conversation goes stale, I just slip down into the depths, awoken from my reverie several minutes later by bemused friends and colleagues! 😬

What people fail to understand however, is that I am perfectly content in my little bubble. Yes I look strange, and my face may not show it, but I’m perfectly fine 🙂 In fact I sort of enjoy thinking, just floating around exploring the darkness of the abyss. It’s actually a little bit soothing in an odd way.

Autists are not good with the unknown. We like structure, things we can predict and prepare for. By questioning, or pondering the unknown in our minds, this can help to make the world seem a little less scary. Knowledge is power after all!

So don’t panic if you see me stumbling into the abyss- I’m probably just wondering where I can buy an alpaca! 😛 😉

Enjoy the weekend everyone! 🙂

Aoife

Should I Tell My Child They Have Autism?

Greetings Earthlings! 🙂

So today we’re going to discuss a very important question when it comes to growing up with autism- should autists be made aware of their diagnosis?bitmoji185739333

Now this question is a little bit tricky.

On one hand, we have the parents who do not want their child to know at all; they want their child to grow up as “normally” as possible so that they may never be held back by the autistic label.

In a sense, part of me would agree with this approach. In a lot of ways, growing up undiagnosed was a blessing in disguise. I was never treated differently (well, by teachers at least- children are another kettle of fish!) and I grew up to be a “normally” functioning adult with a job and friends, never held back by the autistic label.

Buuuuuuutttttttt…

Whilst I can appreciate a parents desire for their child to thrive, the decision not to tell a child about their diagnosis ultimately amounts to sticking your head in the sand.

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We cannot ignore autism and pretend that it’s not happening. There needs to be interventions, strategies and most importantly, understanding.

We don’t just grow out of autism, we need to cultivate an environment so that we can grow around autism. Without self awareness, this will ultimately make life difficult for your child.

What if they found out some other way that they were autistic? If they overheard a teacher, accidentally caught sight of their notes or were taunted by another child? How would you feel if your parents kept something like this from you?

At the end of the day, your child needs to know about their diagnosis; maybe not today or tomorrow, but when the time is right, they will need to know.

Yes, there were some advantages to getting a later diagnosis, but ultimately, life would have been so much simpler for both my parents and I had we known that I was on the spectrum. We would have known how to manage meltdowns, my peers would have understood me better, I wouldn’t have tortured myself for being different- I would have understood and learned to better accept and love me all the sooner.

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So don’t worry about holding your child back, or upsetting them; take a deep breath and find a way to tell them- they will thank you for it in the end 🙂

Aoife

Curiosity & Autism

Greetings Earthlings! 🙂

Today I’m going to explore an aspect of autism that’s not widely discussed- curiosity 🙂

Many people find that curiosity is in fact diminished among members of the autistic community because of our preference for routine. In my experience, the opposite is true.

To quote Albert Einstein, who is widely believed to have been on the autistic spectrum:

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.

Passionately curious.

That’s how I would describe my insatiable sense of curiosity about the world.

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Throughout my entire life I have been driven by my desire to acquire knowledge. The words who, what, when, where, why and how are rarely ever far from my lips. For me, it’s more than just a desire, it’s a need.

I need to know how the world works, I need an encyclopedic knowledge of those I care about, I need to know why did the chicken really cross the road??!!

If I had had Google as a child I would have been a nightmare! 😛

If I don’t get the answers I crave, it drives me insane, getting under my skin like an itch I can’t scratch. A friend recently told me she had news for me right at the exact moment I lost my WiFi signal! I nearly screamed with frustration over the next two hours trying to reconnect long enough to find out what her news was!!

Curiosity does have its uses though when it comes to the likes of science, motivating you to stick with the building blocks that will one day lead you to understand entire systems.

Buuuuuttt…as we all learned from ‘Alice in Wonderland’, curiosity can sometimes get us into a spot of bother…

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Many autists have issues with impulse control (which I will explore in detail on Friday 🙂 )  and as such, in my experience, curiosity can be impulsive.

For instance, I scorched the kitchen door as a child when I set fire to a drawing with a candle out of curiosity…

Another such incident (which I have no memory of but have been assured happened 😛 ), saw my younger cousin and I trap my kitten between two buckets until my horrified mother caught us in the act!

The only explanation that I can offer for my behaviour based on similar experiences is that I was interested to know what would happen! 😛

Thankfully in this instance, curiosity did not kill the cat! 😉

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Curiosity can also be an issue in social situations. Countless times I’ve landed myself in hot water for asking inappropriate questions, often unintentionally coming across as nosy. As with all things autism however, with time, you learn to reign in your curiosity and channel it towards something more positive, like keeping up with the latest research 🙂 (even if the unasked questions do irritatingly press on the brain 😛 )

But why am I so curious?

Unfortunately, I don’t have much to offer in the line of concrete scientific explanation I’m afraid. There doesn’t appear to be much research in this aspect of the autistic experience.

However, in terms of the general science of curiosity, the neurotransmitter dopamine plays an important role. Curiosity activates brain regions associated with pleasure and reward through the activity of dopamine, giving us that pleasurable feeling of satisfaction when our curiosity is quenched. Many addictive drugs operate through this pathway, so you could say that I’m addicted to learning! 😉

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In autism, dopamine levels are dysregulated, which may influence curiosity as a result. Moreover, increased activity in the midbrain is associated with curiosity. Brain analyses of autistic individuals reveal structural changes in this region, suggesting that perhaps these changes contribute to and account for differences in curiosity levels among autists.

Stay tuned for Friday’s post where we’ll be putting impulsivity under the microscope! 🙂

Aoife

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