Greetings Earthlings! 🙂
Leading on from my previous posts about meltdowns, emotions and alexithymia (the inability to identify emotions in the self and others), this week I’d like to take a close look at the specific issue of displaced anger.
As I’ve discussed multiple times, autists process emotions differently to their neurotypical peers, often because they aren’t able to properly recognise what they’re feeling. In my experience, anger is one of the worst offenders. I have often had issues with displaced anger, misdirecting my wrath at everyone and anyone around me because I hadn’t been dealing with the source. Just walking around for weeks lashing out at the slightest annoyances because I hadn’t twigged that I was bothered by something else entirely.
Interestingly, I have also resorted to anger as a cloak in the past. I often found when on the verge of a meltdown being angry and rude were much easier emotions to project than what I was truly feeling. Anger was much easier to control, with less likelihood of dissolving into tears (not to mention the repellant effect). I just knew that were I to make eye contact or speak without anger in those scenarios, the floodgates would open, and it was too overwhelming to have to explain them.
There is also a cognitive emotional processing condition which can contribute to displaced anger outbursts known as anger rumination. This happens when an autist has a tendency to dwell on past experiences of anger and frustration. By focusing on these experiences, autists develop difficulties in properly processing and responding to anger. Persistent rumination on past stressors depletes your ability to self regulate resulting in behavioural inhibition, which makes you more hostile and prone to displaced anger outbursts.
While it’s never nice to be on the receiving end of these anger outbursts, try to bear in mind that you’re unlikely the cause. You might have triggered a reaction, but usually the issue runs deeper. Try to give an autist some space in these scenarios to give them time to calm down. Talking after the red mist has passed can be very helpful in allowing an autist to process their emotions in a healthy way in a safe, nonjudgmental environment.
Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings!
Have a lovely weekend!
Aoife
A Is For Aoife Not Autism 