Greetings Earthlings!

This week I’d like to talk about something that a lot of neurodivergents have observed in their social circle- that lot’s of our friends are also neurodivergent! Prior to my autism diagnosis, I did not have any friends on the spectrum, or so I thought… Over the past 11 years, many of my friends have sought or are currently seeking autism and ADHD assessments. In the last year alone I’ve had four friends seek my advice about getting diagnosed.

During my school years, I didn’t really have a core group of close friends; people just didn’t get me, nor I them. Going to university opened up an entirely new world, widening my social pool and enabling me to meet more likeminded people. I quickly found tribes of friends who were equally quirky with similar interests that I connected with on a level that I couldn’t explain. We would connect within minutes as if we had known each other our whole lives, feeling completely comfortable in each others presence, unknowingly unmasking.

After my diagnosis, I slowly started to notice common autistic traits among my friends. At first I thought it was funny when friends would say the more they listened to me talking about my traits, the more paranoid they became that they had autism, but now I see the grains of truth. I’ve spoken about this with my neurodivergent friends and they have also noticed similar patterns in their social circles.

There isn’t really any research on this topic, but it seems that there is a general pattern of neurospicy birds of a feather flocking together. Autists tend towards sameness and familiarity, so naturally our social preferences also mimic these patterns. Studies have shown that friends tend to have similar brain activity patterns called neural synchrony- so on a biological level, we are designed to seek out minds that are similar to our own. In addition, studies have shown that our noses play an important part in forming friendships as we tend to gravitate towards people with natural scent profiles similar to our own. Given how autists are sensitive to smell, it’s fair to say that perhaps our nose is handpicking neurodivergent friends for us!

Hope you enjoyed this post dear Earthlings!

Have a lovely weekend! 🙂

Aoife